THIRD AND LONG... THE GAME PLAN

After the session with Dr. ZAP! I’m feeling pretty good, you know, as well as you can with what ZAP! is now calling a super-aggressive prostate cancer.  The day after ZAP! laid it out for me, Feelup’s replacement ( Feelup’s tour in Finger Land being over) Dr. Newguy calls me from the VA with his take.

 

“It just blitzed you, and even though it didn’t show up on the two scans you’ve had, because the cancer is SO bad-ass we HAVE to believe it’s spread.  How bad-ass?  Well, 95% of guys your age don’t get it this bad.  Surgery followed by radiation? Radiation and hormone therapy? In your case it’s you pick ‘em. Either way, you’re stuck with permanent E.D. Want to roll the dice?” 

 

I tell him I’m going with Show Tunes shots and The Beam; he’s happy I’m ready to rock.

 

And I really am.  I’m tired of getting my ass kicked week after week and not being able to do anything about it.  The E.D.?  Snake Eyes again; the dice HATE me.

 

Nurse Polly calls a couple of days later to set things up.

 

1. Call her once a week from now on
2. She’s setting up the Show Tunes shots with the VA.  I’ll get 1 per month for “awhile”.  Two months after my first shot I start the 9 weeks of nuking.
3. Just before I get my first shot, drop by the Vampire Lounge again for bench-mark blood work.
4. Just before I get my first ZAP! they’ll put some “Marker Seeds” into my prostate so they know where to aim The Beam.

 

And exactly how do they get these “Marker Seeds” in?

 

“You remember Dora The Explorer, don’t you?”

 

OH, HELL NO!

 

“It’s like a reverse biopsy.  This time we’re putting stuff in instead of taking stuff out”.

 

NOT THE BACKSIDE DIVE PLAY AGAIN!

 

“And when it’s all done we’ll look at all the pictures Dora’ll take.  It’s really cool.”

 

THAT IS SICK!